WHAT I FEEL

Here i am blogging again about my feelings just like what i used to do in my old account, i cant help it, especially when i listen to this alternative songs from the 1990s. It brings me back to this melancholic feeling that i used to feel, i want to cry for something i cant explain, coz the music brings me pain and sadness. Oh me, i dont wanna cry, i dont wanna feel this way again but something inside me tells me not to stop and just let my mind and heart reminisce the past events where i laugh and cry with this people whom i considered "Gods gift to me". I miss my friends, my high school friends who stayed with me through thick and thin. I miss the things that we used to do and the feeling that they make me feel whenever im with them. They were always there to make me happy and make me laugh about nonsense things that they do and say. There’s just something about them that makes me feel and say "Im so lucky to have them in my life coz not everyday ill find people like them"… Its been quite awhile now since i haven’t seen them, unlike before that i always find time to see them not more than 2 months. But things are different now, im not growing young and even my perceptions in life are changing too, so many things just happened lately that made me come up to this priorities that im trying to live right now. If before, i was always weak and needed all your presence to give me confidence, strength, hope and perseverance to keep up with my used to be messed-up life, right now im trying not to be so dependent on all of you in gaining strength to keep-up whenever im having emotional problems… ill break down if i have to in a place where im alone and let out all the pain then carry on again with my life without letting my unwanted emotions rule over me so i wont messed-up again. I need to learn to deal with things alone now so that when the time comes that youll be leaving me, it wouldnt be that hard for me. Most of our batch and the people that i knew have gone abroad now and i know sooner or later youll be doing the same thing coz Things are changing now, soon youll be working in places far from Davao or marry and live somewhere. But eventhough things are changing, i still know in my heart that even if time and place will separate us for a long period of time and well be having new friends and mingle with different people, the moment well see each other again after 48 years, it would still feel the same, the friendship would still be there coz i know what i found in you is true friendship that not everyday ill always find in other people. I will always treasure the moments that weve shared and the friendship that you all shared with me especially for making me feel that its not about the place or the amount of money you have that makes a person happy but its about the people whom your with or share it with that makes it worth living for. Thank You…