I FELT SAFE NOW

I asked you to let go coz i want to understand people whom i cant understand. But when you let go, grievance is what i suffered. I became weak and vulnerable to things that i shouldnt have done. Things are starting to get confusing and the feeling of emptiness came rushing through my veins… You have left me… that is what i felt. Then i want to fill my emptiness with things that i thought could fill it… but still its not enough… I became irrational, impulsive and indecisive with my actions and to what i really want to do with my life… So many wrong things ive done that i considered a mistake but still keeps on committing them coz sometimes wrong things feels right eventhough it doesnt fill and ease the emptiness completely. Until finally you gave me this last blow in my life, an explosion caused by my wrong actions, where i felt devastated and fallen so flat on the ground. I lost my self-esteem, confidence and all that could make me feel worthy of an existence in this world. I felt so small and every dawn and night is like a torture to me, a nightmare that cannot be vanquish. Even in my waking hours i felt like being stab by a hundred knives that cant kill but stings in your flesh, heart and mind. It hurts, the pain is so tremendous that i dont know what to do anymore to make it go away… Then i think of you and beg you for help and forgiveness about the things that i have done. I need you back, i need you back inside my heart to fill the emptiness that cant be filled and in doing this i know i have to ask for full forgiveness from you and to some people that i know ive caused pain, coz i know in doing this that emptiness will be filled by you. I asked you to let go and you did let go, i asked you to comeback but it was not that easy for you to comeback. I have to do things to attain you back and now that your back in my heart, i wont ask you to leave again like i did before. I understand now what others are passing and it felt good to understand them without even asking them why are they doing this and that… After everything that happened, theres no mistake after all, just answers to the questions that i was asking. Thank You Lord for Everything… Your still my God, Lord and Savior… I Felt Safe Now that i have YOU …