Back then when i was 14 years old i used to have a friend who lives in the belief that real happiness could only be found if you fell inlove, get married and have children..
On that age she also lost her innocence due to seeking lovelife in order to feel the kind of happiness describe in love songs..the guy wasn't serious with her coz his not even her lover and she was just caught up by the guys lie that made her felt he could be the one..after that, she became desperate to find a lover who could accept her despite losing her innocence and when she turned 15 she met someone years older than her whom she met through Texting. She fell inlove and run away with the guy at the age of 16 years old because her parents were opposed to the way she takes her lovelife too seriously..
and at the age of 17 she came home along with the guy, and after several weeks she got pregnant. Her parents supported them financially and everything they needed coz they couldnt support themselves alone..when she turned 20, the guy decided to work in a cruise ship but he has to undergo a training first before he could board that ship and ofcourse you need to pay the training fees first before you can join that training and the one who paid for his training fees is HER family along with those other expenses needed for him to fully board that ship.
When his guy finally boarded the ship, she discovered that her father was having an affair with another woman and she was like criticizing her mom because she thinks her father wont have an affair with another woman if her mother didnt lack any attention to her father like the way she is with her guy because shes a daddy's girl and she takes very good care of her guy..then after one year, she discoverd that her guy was having an affair in that ship and the guy didn't deny that to her. Her guy asked for forgiveness and 2nd chance but she refuse to give it to him coz she cant take the thought that he cheated after everything she sacrifice for him...
After that she became desperate again, hoping that shell meet someone who could love and accept her along with her child, someone who will never cheat like her ex...in seeking that guy, she met a fool who used her and she end up more desperate in finding true love..until she found someone who made her feel accepted and loved again..and again her parents were against it coz the guy has two children, no job and just been annulled from marriage..and again she cared so much for that guy and rebel to her parents coz she fell inlove with a new guy who made her feel accepted again..
it was like shes just repeating the past and the only difference is the present guy has two children while the past was purely single...after several months she got pregnant with the new guy and so again her parents supported them and this time her parents built them a house to live coz they automatically have 3 children plus the upcoming baby thats inside her womb so all in all they have 4 children including her son..
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If having Lovelife means feeling Real happiness then why is it that when you raise questions such as this questions below, you will find doubts in their answers.. ..
When i ask most women who got married or presently living-in with someone this questions....
1. Are you really happy?? some will reply....."Yes"
but then when you add another question such as..
2. If ever your child will grow up and fell inlove at the same age you did and want to do the same thing you did coz your child finds happiness from that person, will you be happy for your child?? coz your child found the same happiness you did?!..
then mostly you will hear them saying... "No!, i dont want my child to get married and have kids at a young age, i want them to finish their studies first"...
...If you hear them answer this, then that means they are not really that happy because a mother will always want whats best for her child and the word "happiness" is what most mothers longed for their child to feel,.. that oftentimes results to lack of understanding over their childrens emotions and ends up yelling and making situations worst because they tend to forget the reasons and feelings they felt before that trigger them to act in an irrational way...coz most of the time its hard for parents to have a heart to heart talk where they will admit to their children the mistakes they did in the past because usually less educated parents and had limited exposure to society because they got married at an early age often results to lacking the ability to explain in a calm manner the negative effects of irrational decisions. They dont wanna site their mistakes as an example to help explain to their children the reasons why getting married at an early age is wrong for them...because they refuse to accept the fact that what they did before was a mistake because they have this kind of belief that they are parents and parents are always right and if the child ask questions why they acted like this or that? and include their opinion about it, they will think of it as having no respect coz the child cross the line by questioning them, coz they are parents and if theyll say this or that, that should not be questioned because its expected to be followed by their children coz they said so...and when that happens, the child becomes confuse why its not good for her or him,why is it considered bad..
and so, the child becomes more and more detach to her parents, thinking they will never understand her/him.........when things could be better understood if both would be willing to listen to each others explanations and reasons along with siting examples to be better understood.
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And also Some Women answer the question... 1. Are you really Happy??...by saying..
"My husband accepted my past and his a good man"....but the question being ask is
""Are you really Happy?""
which is answerable by "Yes" or "No"....if the answer is uncertain coz it wasn't answered confidently by "Yes", the woman is not really Happy, she just wanted to find someone who could accept her thinking that that acceptance from a guy could really make her happy..
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the thing ive observe about desperate women who keeps on thinking that lovelife is the only source of real happiness oftentimes results to more misery instead of more happiness...its hard for them to foresee those possible additional problems they can get by acting impulsively base on their emotions alone coz their emotions keeps telling them "I need lovelife" or "Lovelife is the way to real happiness"..and by thinking this way it will only make it harder for them to feel the word happiness without Lovelife because its Psychological, the more you'll tell yourself you cant be happy without it, the more you really wont see other ways of feeling the word happiness without it..and you'll end up having relationships where you'll look like your already begging someone to love you coz it becomes hard for you to see if the guy is taking you seriously or not eventhough the answer is already obvious infront of your face..and oftentimes desperate women realize this when too much damage on their part has already taken place, like being pregnant at a young age without a father, then after that, they will repeat it again irrationally..
and when this women ask for your opinion and you give advices to them and tells them the possible negative outcome and how much damage it will do to them, and those people nearest to them such as their parents or family, they will listen but wont absorb it....
and the words thats more easier to process in their state of mind is just this line
......"do everything you feel like doing if you think doing that could make you happy coz if it wont,then in the end when you get too much exhausted from chasing someone, you'll stop on your own even without anyone telling you to stop".........
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desperate women forgets to ask themselves.. "if having lovelife means real happiness, then why does tears keep falling on and off their eyes?"...
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if you want real happiness then you should start by getting to know yourself first, what you want and why you want it?...
start by asking questions to yourself...
1. What do you really want?? and
2. Why do you want it so much??..
3. What are your reasons?? and
4. How did you come up with those reasons??..
5. Where did you base those reasons??
6. Are you that certain its accurate??..
7. If you are, then again, why??.............................................................................
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keep throwing questions to yourself eventhough some of the questions are questions you've already ask before and try finding its answers from yourself too..using your own perceptions and using reverse psychology on yourself until you'll realize where you went wrong, what triggers you to commit those actions and what did you learn after realizing your mistake...
.When you ask questions to yourself and you seek for answers inside you, always remember not to put all the blame on another person because the more you blame other people the more it will be hard for you to exercise "Acceptance and humbleness" because through that you will learn to see the good outcome out of those bad circumstances you've manage to surpass....
because oftentimes vagueness becomes clearer to see when you start raising questions to yourself instead of asking advice from other people..learn to find answers within yourself by reflecting about the matter that triggers your emotions to feel unstable...then eventually you will become emotionally independent..
and slowly you will find yourself finding happiness in simple things even without lovelife...
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Learn to accept yourself first before wanting others to accept you, so that feeling the word Happiness will be more easier to acquire on your own...
Because when your emotionally happy on your own, it is easier to make another person happy just by being with you..
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